What I Wish I Knew in Middle School: Navigating Puberty with Confidence
Puberty is awkward for everyone! As an eating disorder specialist who has counseled countless teens through these changes, and as a mom of many, looking back, there are so many things I wish I had known during those confusing middle school years. Here's some advice I hope can help you navigate this challenging time with a bit more ease and understanding:
1. Puberty is Weird
Yes, it’s strange and uncomfortable, but it’s a universal experience. Everyone goes through it, even if it feels like you're the only one.
2. Timing Varies
Girls and boys hit puberty at different times. Girls usually start around 10 or 11, while boys begin around 12 or 13. This difference can make you feel out of sync with your peers, but it’s completely normal.
3. Rapid Growth
Your growth rate during puberty matches the speed of toddlerhood. It's a time of rapid physical change, and it’s perfectly normal to shoot up in height or outgrow your clothes seemingly overnight.
4. Feeling Alone is Normal
It's common to feel isolated or like you’re the only one experiencing these changes. Remember, everyone around you is going through something similar, even if they don’t show it.
5. Weight Changes in Girls
Girls can gain up to 30% of their adult body weight in just two years. This weight is necessary for development and will eventually distribute into more defined areas as you mature.
6. Increased Hunger
You will feel hungrier than usual because your body needs extra fuel for all the growth and changes. Eating well is crucial during this time.
7. Coordination Differences
Boys often become more coordinated during puberty, while girls may feel clumsier. This is due to differences in brain development and is entirely normal.
8. The Awkwardness Settles
It might feel like the awkwardness will never end, but give it a few years. As your body adjusts and you become more comfortable with yourself, the awkwardness will fade.
9. Big Emotions
Both boys and girls go through an emotional roller coaster as puberty kicks off. At the start of puberty, hormones come in spurts as the body transitions from early childhood into adulthood. This hormone shift can make you feel angry one minute, laugh the next, and cry after that. Emotional swings can be a normal part of this development and don't necessarily mean something is wrong. It levels out as your body settles into your teen years.
Understanding Puberty
Middle school and puberty are times when we become more self-aware, and things can feel really big and hard and lonely. Everyone feels awkward, but with time, the awkwardness settles. Puberty looks different for boys and girls. During this period, you’re growing at an extremely fast pace—similar to when you were a toddler—but now you’re much more aware of it.
Disordered Eating
One in three adolescent girls struggle with disordered eating because they do not understand what is going on with their bodies. Girls are especially vulnerable during this time. The weight gain that occurs often looks soft or rounder, which is entirely normal. Your body is preparing for significant growth and development, and it’s okay to go through multiple sizes of clothing in a year.
Clumsiness and Coordination
For girls, brain connectivity during puberty is still developing, which can lead to clumsiness or difficulty in sports. It’s like being a toddler again, stumbling as your body adjusts. On the other hand, boys’ brains tend to fire more acutely, leading to improved coordination.
Fueling Your Growth
You will need a lot of food and rest during puberty. Your body is gearing up for significant growth and development, and it’s crucial to fuel it properly. Feeling hungrier doesn’t mean you’re gaining unnecessary weight; it’s your body’s way of asking for the energy it needs.
Embrace the Changes
Understanding these changes can help you navigate puberty with more confidence. Embrace this time of growth and development, and know that it’s a normal part of becoming who you are meant to be.